It's amazing how a single glance to the side of your computer can make you feel like total shit. I know my blogs so far are completely angst ridden but I despise your opinion and I really could care less. That's a little bitchy to say but the truth hurts. Especially when you're searching the web for entertainment because your boyfriend of two years tells you he's going to bed because he has work tomorrow and has to wake up early, and then you click over to yahoo and a golden yellow smiley face is next to his name in the chat bar announcing that he's online. Fuck the world. He could have just said he didn't feel like talking to me, I wouldn't have cared we talk all the time and It's understandable. Stop looking at my vulnerable spot surfer of said blogger...He should have told me something, lies weren't necessary. I get lied to constantly by the world I really don't need it from him. It's not very cool of him and he crushed the feel good mood that I was in with that stupid smiley face. I shouldn't care this much but my trust just plummeted and now I'm wondering what else he's lying about. Damn it. Maybe I'm being stupid. Maybe my computer is messing up and repeating things. As my heart sinks at the sight of that yellow smile I realize the truth..that I'm entering denial. Even worse. I'm rhyming while it's happening. Maybe we aren't meant to be and I'm just caught up in the moment whilst he's slowly growing less fond of how he feels about me :( For some reason typing all my doubts out helps. I don't know what it is. Ignore the giant white spot I needed some space. Humph. Bah humbug. I might talk to you later and I'm going to go ahead with my book, therefore when I'm famous for numerous reasons this blog will be full of comments so enjoy the commentless page.
I *so* know what mean.
ReplyDelete~Kendra